Part 2 is here: Reissuing a passport - 2 or Advance to the rear
Couple of days later I again went to the RPO to find out what the hell was going on with the passport, and proceeded through the ridiculous rigmarole of standing in queue, taking a token, find the relevant unmarked counter, asking the people gathered which was the right counter and queue, and which was the bloody tail of the snaking queue where I should attach my wagon.
Then started the long wait until my number was called. In the meanwhile hilarious things were going on at the counter. Every person who was called was asked to pay a fine! Seems there are some conditions under which the RPO can levy a fine on the person. After a while, we began to bet how much the next fine amount would be. What a scam.
After much fiddling with my phone, and playing musical chairs, my turn finally arrived. Applause, bow, woof woof. The lady at the counter took my papers, checked her computer, checked my papers, checked her computer, called the secret service on her phone, probably the CIA as well, and finally proclaimed in an accusing tone: you took an emergency passport from Moscow in 1999 and left for India. Wdf. A whale could have sauntered into my gaping mouth at that point. After I'd gathered my wits which were scattered all over laughing their butts off, I told the woman she was cuckoo, I'd never even been to Moscow. If this stuff happened way back in 1999, were they stupid that it never got flagged earlier through my 1 zillion foreign travels and previous passport issues. And I have a special passport for Israel, those buggers would probably have checked some 6 generations of my ancestors before allowing me in. Unconvinced, the lady continued her tirade: the system says you were there, its gospel truth. Half expecting to be arrested and deported anytime back to Moscow, finally she relented and asked me to wait some more.
After another hour or so, she asked me to go to some room upstairs, my file had been moved closer to god. So off I trudged to meet some more babus. There again they did some secret consultation with persons unknown, between themselves, with their secret records on their computers. Then started a brief interrogation, father names, mother names, where was I born, when was I born, WHY was I born, what did I eat for breakfast in the morning, where did I travel, passport numbers, address, etc. And then just like that they decided that nothing was wrong, it was just a mistaken identity with another Amit Bansal from Bhatinda!
Boody stupid commoner name I have, must be 1 million of us in this country. Damn and blast. But hey, thats just the name match, surely the babus-who-know-all would not be making such a fuss for a name match, surely there must be other data points matching between us. To my absolute surprise, there was no match of anything except the name. This is ridiculous. Father's name, place of birth, date of birth, address, NOTHING matched, and still the computer and the babus decided I was the same person. What a cock-up. These geniuses really need to get their shit together.
Anyway, with the assurance that my passport would be processed forthright, I left cursing.
Friday, June 07, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Reissuing a passport - 2 or Advance to the rear
Part 1 is here: Reissuing a passport - 1 or Making a monkey of queuing theory
On 5th March since I could not use the online system and anyway was going to apply on Tatkaal, a friend advised me to skip the online system and show up at the RPO directly. I could not believe that there was a way to avoid the online insanity, but hey, its India and we don't question our babus. I would be 10 kinds of a fool if I looked a gift horse in the mouth.
So morning of 6th March, unshaven and looking like as a rowdy I showed up at the RPO. Stood in a queue to get a token number. The token number is given after a cursory check of documents, then went to another queue inside and finally into a room where a babu stamps the printout carrying the ARN. Thats it! Appointment received to go to one of the PSKs and start tatkaal processing.
What a criminal waste of time and money. All the procedure at the RPO just to get an appointment at the PSK. Why couldn't I have gone directly to the PSK in the first place, why do I need to come here and do all this halabaloo just to get a rubber stamp. There is nothing checked except the application which shows your intent to pay the needless extra fees of Tatkaal. India must be the only country which has made made it a government art to make money off delivering services in a time expedient fashion.
Well, armed with this document of knighthood, Sir Galahad galloped on his giggling goat to the gable of the ghastly PSK. At the PSK, there was a long queue outside. Ask the guards at your own peril, they'll make you stand in the queue. I went directly inside the office to the Tatkaal counter, submitted the passport and documents with photocopies, etc and waited for them to call. Most part of the PSK is run by Tata Consultancy Services which had won the tender some years ago.
At the PSK I found that TCS is blatantly overcharging people for photocopy service. Right under the board which says Re 1 per photocopy the guy was charging Re 1.5. I made a huge racket about it, more on that in a later post.
Anyway, the rest of the experience was quite marvellous. The infrastructure and facilities are really great, seating spaces, TV with displays of token numbers, minimum bureaucratic at display, clean restrooms, snack joints, etc. There are three stages of processing, A, B and C, each game show round gets harder to cross, and I flunked stage C.
At Stage A, they actually take a photography right then and there and thats the photo that ends up in the passport! Whats the f-ing idea of this? Taking portrait photos even if its a mug shot is an art best left to studio lighting and a photographer who knows what he is doing. One does try to tidy up before getting passport photos taken, the photographer takes care to see that chin is down, eyes are up, (or maybe chin up, eyes down) etc etc and that you don't look like a jailbird on parole with a hangover. Remember I said that I showed up looking like a rowdy, so that's how my mug has been captured for all eternity in the bloody passport. Fat chance I have of getting past immigration looking like that.
PS: The first photo the guy took actually looked like a weevil from Torchwood, so I made him take another one which was a wee bit better.
Well I got past Stage B while the cheer leaders shook their pompoms and bottoms, and then to a nail biting finish at Stage C. At stage C, the guy referred me to another counter in Stage C, and by this time I was pissing my pants. The person at this counter took my file, looked through it, checked the computer, looked through the file, looked at me, checked the computer, and after some long moments of doing more of the same, opened her mouth a wee bit and muttered "policy".
WDF is policy? With the most cryptic smirk she said that I have to go to RPO policy section, no she cant tell WDF "policy" is, its against PSK policy to tell citizens what "policy" is. And her smirk proclaimed in words ten feet tall, dude you toh are FUBAR. Well, strike 1 for the babus, so muttering evil curses I went to perform the exit ceremony.
At the exit I got a paper which essentially said, all is fine, all your documents are correct, but we've decided to fuck your happiness, further processing is on hold so come to the RPO and maybe if you bend and scrape enough we'll grant you another passport. Oh joy.
The govt is still living up to its promise I see:
On 5th March since I could not use the online system and anyway was going to apply on Tatkaal, a friend advised me to skip the online system and show up at the RPO directly. I could not believe that there was a way to avoid the online insanity, but hey, its India and we don't question our babus. I would be 10 kinds of a fool if I looked a gift horse in the mouth.
So morning of 6th March, unshaven and looking like as a rowdy I showed up at the RPO. Stood in a queue to get a token number. The token number is given after a cursory check of documents, then went to another queue inside and finally into a room where a babu stamps the printout carrying the ARN. Thats it! Appointment received to go to one of the PSKs and start tatkaal processing.
What a criminal waste of time and money. All the procedure at the RPO just to get an appointment at the PSK. Why couldn't I have gone directly to the PSK in the first place, why do I need to come here and do all this halabaloo just to get a rubber stamp. There is nothing checked except the application which shows your intent to pay the needless extra fees of Tatkaal. India must be the only country which has made made it a government art to make money off delivering services in a time expedient fashion.
Well, armed with this document of knighthood, Sir Galahad galloped on his giggling goat to the gable of the ghastly PSK. At the PSK, there was a long queue outside. Ask the guards at your own peril, they'll make you stand in the queue. I went directly inside the office to the Tatkaal counter, submitted the passport and documents with photocopies, etc and waited for them to call. Most part of the PSK is run by Tata Consultancy Services which had won the tender some years ago.
At the PSK I found that TCS is blatantly overcharging people for photocopy service. Right under the board which says Re 1 per photocopy the guy was charging Re 1.5. I made a huge racket about it, more on that in a later post.
Anyway, the rest of the experience was quite marvellous. The infrastructure and facilities are really great, seating spaces, TV with displays of token numbers, minimum bureaucratic at display, clean restrooms, snack joints, etc. There are three stages of processing, A, B and C, each game show round gets harder to cross, and I flunked stage C.
At Stage A, they actually take a photography right then and there and thats the photo that ends up in the passport! Whats the f-ing idea of this? Taking portrait photos even if its a mug shot is an art best left to studio lighting and a photographer who knows what he is doing. One does try to tidy up before getting passport photos taken, the photographer takes care to see that chin is down, eyes are up, (or maybe chin up, eyes down) etc etc and that you don't look like a jailbird on parole with a hangover. Remember I said that I showed up looking like a rowdy, so that's how my mug has been captured for all eternity in the bloody passport. Fat chance I have of getting past immigration looking like that.
PS: The first photo the guy took actually looked like a weevil from Torchwood, so I made him take another one which was a wee bit better.
Well I got past Stage B while the cheer leaders shook their pompoms and bottoms, and then to a nail biting finish at Stage C. At stage C, the guy referred me to another counter in Stage C, and by this time I was pissing my pants. The person at this counter took my file, looked through it, checked the computer, looked through the file, looked at me, checked the computer, and after some long moments of doing more of the same, opened her mouth a wee bit and muttered "policy".
WDF is policy? With the most cryptic smirk she said that I have to go to RPO policy section, no she cant tell WDF "policy" is, its against PSK policy to tell citizens what "policy" is. And her smirk proclaimed in words ten feet tall, dude you toh are FUBAR. Well, strike 1 for the babus, so muttering evil curses I went to perform the exit ceremony.
At the exit I got a paper which essentially said, all is fine, all your documents are correct, but we've decided to fuck your happiness, further processing is on hold so come to the RPO and maybe if you bend and scrape enough we'll grant you another passport. Oh joy.
The govt is still living up to its promise I see:
"To deliver passport services to citizens in a timely, transparent, more accessible, reliable manner and in a comfortable environment through streamlined processes and committed, trained and motivated workforce"
Shri Salman Khurshid
Friday, March 08, 2013
Laying to rest taxation at Indian resturants
In addition to the ridiculously high VAT, our stupid authorities have added this nonsense of service tax. Too many people are busy posting incorrect information about taxation rules at restaurants. While this is highly appreciated, i.e. the more people are involved in spreading awareness about such matters, the better it is of course. But the problem is that incorrect information spreads just as fast. So lets lay the taxation angle to rest in this post:
Food and Beverage = Rs. 1000.00Incorrect 2, that too from a presumably knowledgeable body like the DHCBA.
Service Charges @ 10% = Rs. 100.00
Service Tax @ 4.94% on Rs 1100 = Rs. 54.34 (on F&B + Service Charges)
VAT @14.5% = Rs. 145.00
Total = Rs. 1299.34
As per the definition - "Service Tax can be charged ONLY for the services provided to the customer".
Now, see what is happening here in the above example.
Service Tax should be charged only on the Service Charge amount i.e Rs.100 ONLY, and NOT on the entire amount (1000+100).
In this example, the customer should be charged only Rs 4.94, whereas he has been charged Rs. 49.00 extra.
Now from the actual govt notification published here:, one can quite easily make out that service tax is computed on full bill after abatements. The abatement allowed is 60%, i.e. 40% of the food bill is assumed to be "service", and the greedy govt wants a share of this. So final service tax component = 4.94% of total bill. And thats the only correct calculation.
PS1: I refuse to patronize restaurants that tack on a "service charge". Its my prerogative to tip based on the service and I'll be damned if I pay the fixed 7-10% that the owner wants to squeeze out of me. For others who insist on being scalped, at least don't prove that you are a moron by leaving an additional tip, just because your credit card slip has such a provision, or you are feeling even more generous, or cant be bothered with simple maths. Do realize that between VAT, service charge and service tax, you are ending up paying THIRTY PERCENT in extra charges on the food bill. If that doesn't scare you from eating out, you probably deserve to be taken advantage of :)
PS2: Please make it a point to calculate the right amount of taxes and check that the restaurant is authorized to collect. Only A/C restaurants can collect. I've taken to tasks restaurants which collect taxes without TIN number, etc on bill.
Another excellent reading on this topic: Service Tax in Restaurants - What the law really says!
And an even more elaborate post which should leave no doubts in anybody's mind: Computation of service tax on food served in a retaurant
Reissuing a passport - 1 or Making a monkey of queuing theory
I need to apply for a UK visa, and the consulate needs 2 back-to-back blank pages in my passport for the same. Who knows why, but this ridiculous requirement has screwed up my travel plans and I've already wasted 2 full working days. Anyway, so now I needed to apply for a new passport since I dont have 2 back to back blanks on the old.
I filled the form and submitted it online for Tatkal on 5th March and then tried to figure out how to get an appointment online for the further processing at the Passport Seva Kendra. There is no information on the process available on the passport website. Not surprising of course, just the Indian government living up to its promise:
And an entire website devoted to getting the appointment: http://www.passportappointment.in/
This last website is a great pot of valuable info, and thats when one realizes that the entire appointment process must have been pakaoed in the fertile brain the size of the left testicle of an ant. In brief here's how it works:
On to Reissuing a passport - 2 or Advance to the rear?
I filled the form and submitted it online for Tatkal on 5th March and then tried to figure out how to get an appointment online for the further processing at the Passport Seva Kendra. There is no information on the process available on the passport website. Not surprising of course, just the Indian government living up to its promise:
"To deliver passport services to citizens in a timely, transparent, more accessible, reliable manner and in a comfortable environment through streamlined processes and committed, trained and motivated workforce"On the website, every time I tried the link "Manage Appointment" I got the message "Maximum number of appointments exceeded for the day". Exasperated I started googling and was stunned by the amount of material on this stuff online. Great many people complaining bitterly online that its next to impossible to get an online appointment, many websites devoted to explaining the process and strategies to get an appointment at the Passport Seva Kendra (PSK) online. Seems its a black science, I kid you not. Sample these:
Shri Salman Khurshid
This last website is a great pot of valuable info, and thats when one realizes that the entire appointment process must have been pakaoed in the fertile brain the size of the left testicle of an ant. In brief here's how it works:
- Discover from somewhere the actual time at which the online appointment window opens, this is 6pm for Bangalore, and is different for each city. Of course the Indian govt cant be bothered to provide this info in the first place, and this is the first fuckup.
- The booking window opens for a short duration, in this duration one has to click on the "Manage appointment" link, enter some captcha, select the date/time slot best suitable, enter some more captchas, and voila! one has an appointment to meet some shabby babu in the PSK.
- But back up a moment, do you think its so simple? Ha. Like I said, left testicle. At 6pm, all of Bangalore is also logged into the website trying to get the appointment, and the website just f-ing dies. On 5th March, the website just hung from 6 pm till 6:30, and I could not even go into the "manage appointment" link. And the punishment is that you need to try the entire process a full 24 hours later. And thats the 2nd fuckup.
- Needless to say most people cant figure all this shit out in the first place, get snafued by fuckup 1 and fuckup 2, and never manage to get the online booking, and end up paying the govt for overpriced Tatkal, or the touts.
On to Reissuing a passport - 2 or Advance to the rear?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Retailers in B'lore take consumers for a ride - 2
Read Retailers in B'lore take consumers for a ride... first.
And some more episodes:
1. Foodworld: charged higher than MRP on packaged goods. Stock on the shelf is old, while the price on the system is new.
2. Central: charged higher than MRP on packaged goods. Stock on the shelf is old, while the price on the system is new.
3. Central: double billed, i.e. the same item was billed twice during checkout. Got the store manager to write "wrong billing" and sign on the bill this time.
4. Spencers: Bought a clothes drying rack. Came home, removed Spencer's sticker and voila! the MRP written below was far lower, and had been painted over with black ink. This is by far the most interesting case: blatant disregard for laws, overcharging on MRP, fraud... ah my mouth is watering.
Anyway, evidence collection is going on good. I want to take multiple retailers to court at one shot. No point in doing this one by one.
And some more episodes:
1. Foodworld: charged higher than MRP on packaged goods. Stock on the shelf is old, while the price on the system is new.
2. Central: charged higher than MRP on packaged goods. Stock on the shelf is old, while the price on the system is new.
3. Central: double billed, i.e. the same item was billed twice during checkout. Got the store manager to write "wrong billing" and sign on the bill this time.
4. Spencers: Bought a clothes drying rack. Came home, removed Spencer's sticker and voila! the MRP written below was far lower, and had been painted over with black ink. This is by far the most interesting case: blatant disregard for laws, overcharging on MRP, fraud... ah my mouth is watering.
Anyway, evidence collection is going on good. I want to take multiple retailers to court at one shot. No point in doing this one by one.
Now what would make this a very powerful case is to try for a class action suit, or what is known as a public litigation. If you would like to be a part of this case, do please let me know. You would not need to do anything, except be able to show me proof / and or an affidavit showing one or more cases of cheating / fraud / double billing / over charging on MRP / not given freebies / whatever, and I will do all the court running around. Now for all the lazy bones who wont lift a finger to help themselves, is that a good deal or what?
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